In Alaska, as with many places, it really seems impossible to have anything close to a “perfect” divorce. A divorce is a life-altering event that is stressful for all involved including children. No, it is probably not easy to have a “perfect” divorce, but there are ways you can mitigate the stress and turmoil associated with it.
Remaining amicable with your ex-spouse
Keeping communication lines open and amicable with someone you didn’t want to remain married to can be difficult. If you do not have children together, there may not be much to speak about after your divorce. You will still need to divide your assets together, and that requires cooperation.
If you do have children together, you will both need to work out a parenting plan that works for everyone involved. It is easier if you can keep your feelings about the divorce out of it.
Cooperating for the best interest of the children
There may have to be some give and take with your parenting time after your divorce. For example, you may have to adjust your visitation schedules for children’s events or even for their comfort. Remaining flexible and open to adjustments makes the transition between homes less stressful for the kids.
Keeping the children out of the middle
It is not a good idea to expect your child to be the “middleman” with messages for your ex. Nor should you expect them to tell you about the goings-on at the other home. Keep your kids out of all adult decision-making and conversations.
Take your time before moving on
You may feel lonely after your divorce, and that is completely normal. However, it is not wise to begin dating right away. Take the time to get settled into your new life with your children. Grieve and allow your children to grieve the loss of your family.
In the end, it can be difficult to actually have a “perfect” divorce, but there are ways to make it less stressful on your family.