Going through a divorce can feel overwhelming and complicated for you and your children. In many ways, the situation is more confusing for your children since they were not part of the conversation about getting divorced.
As your family moves through the process, your children who were accustomed to the family being under one roof are now getting shuttled from one parent to the other. Making the shift will require support from you and your ex to help your children adjust to the changes that come with divorce.
Here are a few tips for helping your children adapt to life after divorce.
Parenting from the same team
Often, the challenge with adapting to co-parenting is consistency. While you may have shared a home before the divorce, you may not have had the same perspective on raising the children. Although you both want what is best for the kids, you may have different ways to achieve your parenting goals.
An essential part of co-parenting is communication. In addition to discussing your goals for the children, you will need to work out the details of how you want to pursue those goals. The more consistent you can be with how you parent your children, the easier it will be for them to adapt to co-parenting.
Conversation is key
Children often have one of two common reactions to a divorce: they either do not know what to ask or have an overwhelming amount of questions. Regardless of how your children respond to the news of the divorce, it is essential to help them talk about their thoughts and feelings.
Depending on your relationship with your ex, it can be tempting to tell your child everything that went wrong in your marriage that led to divorce. When you have conversations about divorce with your children, keep in mind that your ex is still their parent. They should have the opportunity to form their own opinion of their other parent.
When you and your ex can work together to co-parent your children while keeping the door open for positive conversations with your children, you can make the transition smoother as your kids get accustomed to life after divorce.